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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD)

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Author: Klaus Podoll, Markus Dahlem, Sofia Greene	21. February 2007
Edited by: Klaus Podoll, Markus Dahlem, Sofia Greene

Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD)

HPPD

By Bianca

This is something I've been dealing with since August 14th 2002. I remember the onset so well because my life has pretty much turned into a nightmare since it began, out of the blue, and things have deteriorated within the past year.

From August 2002 - December 2004 it was a lot easier to deal with, as I could go out and work. My anxiety was hardly ever bad, or when it was I would just need to pull myself out of the situation and take a breather and I would be fine. The constant "depersonalization" or perception of reality visuals since August 2002 didn't bother me very much up until about a year ago.

I was at the mall, about a year ago, and my friend and I were walking around. I was a little anxious because of all the people; but I thought I had it under control. We went and got something to eat and sat down. I started feeling tingly and spaced out, then I started to panic; I realized how many people were around me, all the noises started echoing in my ears and my friend started laughing at me because I turned white as a ghost and I'm guessing because she didn't understand. A part of me will NEVER forgive her for that cruelty she displayed; she didn't act as a friend should have.

I have pretty much spent the period from December 2004 - December 2005 in my house. I'm anxious around people, and attending appointments and meeting people is nearly impossible, which means I'm stuck not being able to live normally. I can't work, which pretty much leaves me with a whole lot of shit all to do everyday.

If things hadn't got worse and had just stayed the same as they were over a year ago, I wouldn't have regretted doing drugs as much as I do at this moment in time...

So, to sum it all up, I have constant dream like visual problems; everything looks unreal to me even though I can distinguish that it is real. I've got anxiety around people pretty much all the time unless I am at home and I know them. All of this has been very debilitating for me.

I hope it ends one day or another.

I feel as if I've wasted years, all because I started with that one drug then moved onto other chem drugs. I never thought it would come to this though.

For anyone who takes, or has taken, the time to read this: Don't let drugs be a part of your life, hard drugs anyhow. I wouldn't wish this horror on anyone, it's not worth losing years of your life to, and it's something you can never get back.

Drugs are Bullshit.

I was stupid for what I did in the past, I will continue to have my regrets for what time I've wasted and how I've screwed myself over.... unless I come out of this on top.

Please keep me in your thoughts.

As I will keep you in mine.

Thanks very much for taking your time to read.

Much love and respect,

Bianca

(Bianca's blog, August 1, 2005)

References

Abraham HD. Visual phenomenology of the LSD flashback. Arch Gen Psychiatry 1983; 40: 884-889. [PDF]
Abraham HD. A Chronic Impairment of Colour Vision in Users of LSD. Br J Psychiatry 1982; 140: 518-520. [PDF]
Abraham HD, Aldridge AM. Adverse consequences of lysergic acid diethylamide. Addiction 1993; 88: 1327-2334. [PDF]
Abraham HD, Duffy FH. Stable quantitative EEG difference in post-LSD visual disorder by split-half analysis: evidence for disinhibition. Psychiatry Res 1996; 67:173-187. [PDF]
Abraham HD, Duffy FH. EEG coherence in post-LSD visual hallucinations Psychiatry Res 2001; 107: 151-163. [PDF]
Abraham HD, Wolf E. Visual Function in Past Users of LSD: Psychophysical Findings. Journal of Abnormal Psychology 1988, 97: 443-447. [PDF]
Abraham HD, Aldridge AM, Gogia P. The psychopharmacology of hallucinogens. Neuropsychopharmacology 1996; 14: 285-298, 1996. [PDF]
Halpern JH, Pope HG Jr. Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder: what do we know after 50 years? Drug Alcohol Depend 2003; 69: 109-119. [PDF]

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